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Back at it...again...again

4/22/2020

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What better time than a global pandemic to get back to writing?! Also, I am reading a fictional novel on two real-life writers, so that also has given me some motivation (more on my reading later). I've really been trying to focus on perspective and positivity during these trying times. But I'm not going to lie, it's been tough. The first week we were shut down was spring break, so I took it as a break for myself and was really lazy. I binged all the TV shows I needed to catch up on and watched movies and lived on my couch. The next week was rough, I hit a funk and had some days were I struggled to drag myself out of bed. I had no motivation to work and was angry at the world - angry at being single, angry at not having Lola, angry at not having family, angry at a job that wasn't fulfilling. I'm usually closeted with my emotions, but I opened up to some friends and realized I was not alone. First of all, it was huge just putting the words out there that I wasn't doing well. That alone lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. Then hearing that my friends were right there with me, having good days and having bad days, reminded me that I had a great network of support.
After that, I began scheduling my days and work weeks out. Having that structure really helped get me into the work-from-home groove. I don't always adhere to the schedule, but having some sort of plan gave me the structure I think I was desperately missing.
Although I've been doing better, I realize that part of my struggle was my faith. I normally lean on my faith in hard times, and with everything shut down, I felt shut out. Lent is my favorite time of the year, yet I couldn't get to mass. I couldn't attend a stations of the cross, or Sunday worship, or pick up a church fish fry. I couldn't go get my palms, receive communion and join my fellow worshipers in the most holy time of the year, Easter was rough. I went home and visited my family in NY and questioned my decision to travel nearly every day. My grandpa went back into the hospital Easter morning (he's ok) and some other little things culminated in a horrible attitude and morose mood. Luckily, the weather was warm. I put on my boots, took Lola for a walk around my parents' property and visited my boys, the hounds, and that helped.
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Lola enjoying the warm day
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My hound Happy looking quite regal
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Bubzee
There are a few things I've been focusing on and doing to keep busy on my own. They are things I usually don't have time to do this time of year and things that have evolved because of the circumstances we are in. First, the biggest thing is I have been doing is reading. A lot. I finally finished my quest to read a biography on every American president from Washington to Reagan in chronological order! It's taken me a while because: 1, many books were 600 pages plus; 2, I wasn't allowed to read anything else so I would have to take some breaks; 3, my work schedule and finishing up grad school hampered my time. I plan on writing another post on that challenge and the fiction I'm now devouring, so stay tuned for that.
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 ​Since I'm home and not on the road, I've been cooking all my own meals. I've made meatballs, ribs, lots of hashes for breakfast, buttermilk pancakes and chia seed pudding. Early on I baked funfetti cupcakes with custard filling and chocolate frosting and wrapped them up in cute boxes and delivered to friends. I made cookies live on a work happy hour. For Easter, I made amazing almond cupcakes with a dark chocolate ganache center and raspberry buttercream. They were some of the best cupcakes I've ever made! Since quarantine started right after my birthday, the first thing I baked was a funfetti pie on pi day.
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I've hosted a few Zoom trivia nights, which I think have been great for everyone to see each other and have some fun. A local company that does bar trivia has posted games on their website, making it easy for me to host. I've even gone so far as to make playlists with songs relating to the questions! It's been a lot of fun. The last two I've hosted I've had a $10 fee with the winner and runner-up getting money back and the rest donated to a COVID-19-worthy cause. It's nice to have fun and give back at the same time.
For the first time, my spare room is finally somewhat livable. I had to clean off my desk in there so that turned into organizing that room. I've also cleaned out my kitchen cupboard and put a box together of items to donate and have cleaned out under my bathroom sinks. Amazing what you can accomplish when you're stuck home with nowhere to go and nothing to do!
The last notable thing I've been doing during quarantine is going on a lot of walks. I've checked out many area parks - some I've visited before, some for the first time. My steps have definitely gone up despite being told to stay home! But rest assured, social distancing is being maintained and I'm taking the precautions to stay safe.
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Overlook at Eden Park
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One saving grace during difficult times is that it is spring! I can't imagine this stay at home order coming down in the winter! Get outside and feel the sunshine on your face. The flowers and trees are beautiful and something new is blooming every day. I saw fox pups peeking their heads while I was in NY. Soon the downy little goose and duck babies will be waddling around barely taller than the grass. Look around you. There are signs of new life. There are signs of promise. You just have to open your eyes and your mind.
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